One Shift, Two Shift, Red Shift, Blue Shift

Only 104 years ago today, Albert Einstein's physics paper on special relativity was published. Daria will demonstrate the basics points here. That should make it clear enough, except for the added distortions of time and space which are covered elsewhere.

Of greater importance, though, is the 12th anniversary of the premiere of "The Big House" on MTV. And we still don't know with whom Daria was out that late at night. Had a yellow car, though. Not a taxi.

The Tunguska event is 101 years old today. Happy birthday to you, you big lug of a non-crater, you. And the Corvette Sting Ray (thanks to smk's correction there) is 56. Wonder why none of the characters in Daria ever drove one of these. They drove everything else.

In the art department, MDetector5 offers a new perspective on Quinn that I think all fans can get behind.

BAY STATE DARIACON time is almost here! Get ready!

RUMOR DEPARTMENT: Yesterday a fan named Kate wrote that someone heard that Daria might come out on DVD next year, according to this rumor. We can only hope! Oh, wait, that means I have to keep this blog going for another year. Well, fine, whatever. MTV, if it's true, THANK YOU!

The Moonwalker

For a while I thought there wasn't a Daria character who had done an alter ego as Michael Jackson, but then I remembered the time-travel beginning of Is It College Yet?, which featured a few seconds in which Jake was 1980s rapper Flavor Flav and Helen was...

The Moonwalker. White glove and all.

Sorry it took me so long.

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson, and thank you.



Minor Note: What other Daria character appears in an alter ego as Flavor Flav? (hint)

The Duo That Was Not to Be

What if Daria had been about Daria Morgendorffer and her best friend, Jodie Landon, and they had been transferred from a regular high school to a private prep school called Grove Hills? Interesting take on the old formula. "Gifted" aired for the first time 11 years ago today.

ADDED NOTE: Ajar is writing a story very similar to the above, called "Regifted." My fault for not mentioning it earlier. It is excellent and entirely worth your time to read. Enjoy.

Today is the 89 anniversary of Ray Harryhausen's birthday. If you don't know who he is, that is sad. There's an MTV alter ego of Helen Morgendorffer as one of his creations, the snake-haired Medusa from Clash of the Titans. I got to see the master of stop-motion animation a few years ago at a fan convention, and it was awesome.

Oh, today is also the 53rd birthday of the Interstate system! Hooray! And this is post #1,200 of the blog.

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• [fill in this space before posting]
• [better yet, just wait until Tuesday and do it so there's a lot of fanfiction to list, again]
• [yeah, that's the ticket]
  

Ears to You! or, That Body Part Goes Best with a Red Wine

Stacy Rowe is with us to honor two great events that took place today in history. On the left, she is costumed as Dr. Hannibal Lecter from the movie The Silence of the Lambs, to commemorate the ninth anniversary of the premier of the Daria episode, "Psycho Therapy." Tiffany has a saying worth repeating about "Psycho Therapy," so I will repeat it.

At right, Stacy dresses as a boxer to remember that fateful day twelve years ago when Mike Tyson got the munchies in the ring and bit off the ear of Evander Holyfield. You see at once how well the two events go together.

Today is also the 83rd birthday of producer, director, screenwriter, comedian, composer, and actor Mel Brooks, and I don't care if that has nothing to do with Daria, I'm celebrating, darn it. He created Blazing Saddles, for pete's sake, and without that we wouldn't have WacoKid! Or the line: "Would you like another schnitzengruben?"

Pinkminx unleashes awesomeness with a portrait of Trent Lane, full length, on PPMB. And speaking of art...

The 2009 Daria Visual Fanworks Listing has been updated by Richard Lobinske! Hooray!

I don't know what's going on, but there is so much fanfiction coming out lately, it just blows my mind. KEEP IT UP! BUT GIVE YOUR STORIES ACTUAL NAMES! Don't let them wander around like unwanted bastard children, never meant to be! Not like a love child, born in poverty! Love child, always second best! Love child, different from the... oh, sorry, got carried away. That is all. Nothing more to see here. Oh! Story names, remember that. Though, oddly, all of the unnamed stories below were as astounding as the named ones.

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• Color Coded, by Thecoffeeguru (COMPLETE!): “Is there any more business before I adjourn this meeting of the Fashion Club?” Sandi let her gaze sweep past the faces of her fellow fashion mavens, paying casual yet critical attention for indications of weakness, treachery, or indifference. Being president of the Fashion Club was tireless work, but someone had to do it.
• M4 I & II, by Silver (Part 2): Stretchers and EMTs flooded Lawndale High. The media chose this time to show itself as well. The shell-shocked students suddenly found themselves at the center of a very different sort of chaos.
• Tales of the Ringbearers: With New Responsibility, by Richard Lobinske (Part 5): Walking around the stands, Richard saw a poster that made him stop. It featured a winged woman with spear and shield standing over another fallen gladiator. He used his computer to translate the caption, "The Apocalypse. Five Years Undefeated Champion."
• Operation Nutblocker, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "With HIM?" Jake's voice was fever-pitch high. "Of EVERYONE around here, you had to—I can't even say it!—with HIM?" "I'm sorry, Jake—I didn't mean for you to find out like this—" [Sick, sick, sick...]
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Wanna hear a joke, Tom?" Jane asked. Her hands were behind her back, and her eyes were fill of mischief.
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): Crouched in a dark and smelly sewer, CTU agent Tom Sloane opened the case in front of him and whistled softly under his breath. "Bad news, Daria," he told the computer analyst on the other end of his cell phone conversation. "It's a bomb. Nuclear. If we don't shut this thing down, the entire city of Lawndale is going to be history in less than a minute."
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), Thecoffeeguru (COMPLETE!): "We'll just concoct ourselves a little hangover cure that'll induce him to spew red, white and blue, then."
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Worse Possible Breakup Scenario), by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Daria sighed. "I'm sorry, Trent, but I can't go on like this. I mean, the sex is great and I like getting stoned with you, but there's nothing else there anymore. It's not you, it's me. I'm just... looking for more than this."
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Worse Possible Breakup Scenario), by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): Daria shifted the bag of potato chips and a half empty bottle of Arbor Mist under her arms as she walked toward the Lane's living room, eagerly anticipating the new episode of "Sick, Sad World" featuring a wide assortment of fertility drug mishaps. Just as she was passing the garage door, she heard Trent's voice obviously in great emotional distress. She pressed her ear against the door, not being able to resist the temptation to eavesdrop.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Worse Possible Breakup Scenario), by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "I'm sorry, Helen," said Eric. "I can't pretend anymore, we have to break things off."
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Worse Possible Breakup Scenario), by Thecoffeeguru (COMPLETE!): Tom woke up with a crick in his neck. He realized after a second or two that he was fully dressed, and in Daria's bed. A quick look at the clock told him that it was a little after 4 in the morning. You know, that's it. I've really tried to make it work with Daria, but it's like dating a shadow that occasionally kisses you, then feels guilty about it.
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "You are now the property of Lawndale High. Break the rules and you will suffer. Obey the rules and you will suffer less!"
• Unnamed story (Scenes that Should Be: Brains for Rent), by Ajar (COMPLETE!): Tomdide, driven out of his childhood home stumbled along, too unfamiliar with the real world to know how to get along. He slept in the gutter, girl-less and starving but satisfied in the belief that he always knew best. When he awoke the next day half frozen to death he decided to go to the next town called Lawn-berghoff-trarbkdikdorff in the hopes that he would meet someone who would take pity on him. Upon coming to an inn he noticed two people eying him. [Daria/Candide, a first!]
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes that Should Be: Brains for Rent), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Daria sat up straight in her chair, her face going pale. “Are you trying to tell us that the Ill . . . that your organization believes there’s a threat to the continued existence of civilization, that it’s beyond your resources to prevent, and that you want five random people to fix it?”

Atoms to Atoms, Dust to Dust

Fifty-five years ago today, the very first nuclear power station came on-line in the Soviet Union, in Obninsk. It proved to be remarkably durable, staying in operation until quite recently. I am an advocate of the careful, reasonable use of nuclear power for civilian purposes, and Jane Lane is too, to my surprise, but not for the same reasons.

The infamous soap opera Dark Shadows began on this day 43 years ago. (Jodie and Upchuck here commemorate this event.) I can testify to the intense fan involvement of this show, having known several people (all high-school students like me) who were completely addicted to it. Me, I never watched it. Vampires, werewolves, ugh, where were the robots and aliens? Wonder how many of the MTV animation group were fans of that show. Just curious.

It's a bit of a stretch, but Sandi Griffin's trip to Bermuda in Is It Fall Yet? makes the next tidbit relevant, sort of. Just 111 years ago, renown sailor Joshua Slocum completed the first-ever solo circumnavigation of the globe. Just 11 years later, however, he vanished in the vicinity of the Bermuda Triangle, joining Judge Crater, Amelia Earhart, Ambrose Bierce, and Elvis in the realms of mystery. Except we know Elvis is dead. Get over it. Daria fanfiction does need more Bermuda Triangle fanfics, so get on it, please.

OMG! This blog has 95,790 hits! Don't you people have lives? Or is that all from me?

Kangaballs is looking for a collaborator for a hard-boiled detective story told from Daria's viewpoint. PM her at PPMB.

Pinkminx has expanded her artistic talents to do a realistic portrait of Trent Lane. Nice! And she's got a new version of it in a different thread. Vote on them, please. In other art news, "Downer Ending," by Silver, shows Stacy Rowe watching TV. Or playing video games. Not sure, but it's Stacy.

DrNoGood09 has proposed an anime-crossover Iron Chef: Kamen Cynic. I'm not an anime expert, so I'll let him explain it.

I found an article on the dangers of cheerleading that might be of interest to those writing stories about Brittany and her colleagues. Ouch!

Disco316, João Paulo Costa, Brother Grimace, and Richard Lobinske have been seriously burning it up at DariaWiki. Good Lord! A big hand for these guys! YES!

Sorry I didn't get the fanfic list updated for a while. Busy with a story, plus life, etc. Here we go.

NEWLY UPDATED! I cannot believe how much fanfic is listed here.

FF.net

• Commitment Issues, by Fringeperson (Part 3): Trent had expressed a need to go to Dega Street for guitar strings about halfway through his pizza, an idea which Jane promptly jumped on. She was always on the look out for new and interesting art supplies after all, and Dega Street was never short of inspiration either. It was a more appealing prospect than going home, so Daria agreed to come, too.
  
• Daria, Poem Unlimited, by Project Pegasus (Part 3): “Coffee?” he asked. Coffee was his answer to everything, just as other people turned to God. For him, the reflexive impulse to offer coffee was the equivalent of saying, “I’ll pray for you.”
• Many a True Word, by Alpacca Jo, a.k.a. thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Home room was as uneventful as ever, Charles Ruttheimer III mused as he doodled on the back of his History notes. Around him, students traded jokes or fresh gossip, while a select few sat with their heads down in a vain attempt to catch up on missed sleep.
  
• Never Come to Be, by Alpacca Jo (COMPLETE!): A tear fell, hit Trent's guitar and slid down to drop into the grass at his feet. He seemed not to notice, kept playing though his voice grew rough.
• Shucked Again, by Alpacca Jo (COMPLETE!): She awoke in darkness, cool, sweet wind swirling about her form in what seemed like open air. The sky was an inky blur and, disoriented, she began patting the ground around her in search of her glasses. She blinked in surprise—she was laying in what felt like tall grass.
• A Sibling's Rivalry, by Alpacca Jo (COMPLETE!): Jane watched Trent's door swing slowly shut, face blank but long artist's hands clenched into trembling fists. Just before the latch clicked, Monique stuck her head out and tipped Jane a catty wink. Then they were shut into the cluttered dark of the narcoleptic musician's chambers, and Jane was left alone.
  
• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Part 20): "I’m dating someone," Jane spouted from the quiet of the band’s introduction. The crowd was shifting and stifled, the two girls barely able to see over the heads of some particularly nasty goth-punk-grunge hybrids. ‘When did this happen?’ Daria asked in surprise.
• A Stumble on the Road to Enlightenment, by Alpacca Jo (COMPLETE!): The Bromwell Freshman Orientations had always been a curious affair; while the various scholarship students or those not associated with any alumni of note attended their services in one of the campus's vast auditoriums, the Legacies were taken aside one by one to be welcomed into their new home.
  
• Super Heroism and YOU! by Alpacca Jo (COMPLETE!): Daria rolled her eyes. Thus far, Ms. Li's mandatory Super Heroism and YOU! assembly was nothing more than several black-suited "officials" with no names, no credentials, and, supposedly, no affiliation to CertIAn government agencies droning on and on and on about Lawndale's "exceptional youth" having "the future's future" on their shoulders.
  
• Take Me on the Floor, by MandeeMistress (Part 2): It wasn’t soon after Daria had arrived that Trent walked into the pizza parlor. Daria’s eyes met his sleek exterior and mysterious aura. His dark eyes were still welcoming. She felt her pulse quicken a bit. It seemed that plenty had gone on since she had left.
• Three Dark Tales, by Alpacca Jo (COMPLETE!): "Fade," "Dark Siren," and "This Is Not Hell."
  

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• 1776+222 (Give or Take), by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): “But I can’t be on this committee! Jodie has time off for the first time in years this weekend!” Mack Mackenzie complained to anyone who would listen to him. Jane Lane took Mack by the arm as she led him out of the meeting room in the school. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll just get Daria to write it up. This is her thing anyway.” [The first-ever Daria/1776 crossover!] (FF.net)
  
• Fimbul (ex-More Apocalyptic Daria), by NightGoblyn (continued): The wind is brisk today, and I pull an extra pair of gloves out of my coat pocket and pull them on as I walk home. I should probably take a nap, since tonight was the first night of the full moon.
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 12): Mackenzie groaned in torment. The gasoline tanker had proved roadworthy after time-consuming repairs and tire changes, but with two axles slightly bent the vehicle had a noticeable wobble as it rumbled down the freeway at 35 mph.
• I'd Watch (in a Non-voyeuristic Way), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "We're here with Tom and his friend, Daria. Behind us we have set up an obstacle course including flaming hoops, a Yokou Zuna Sumo wrestler, and a live (and rather angry) lion!"
  
• John Lane 41: Friends and Rediscovery, by Richard Lobinske (Part 1): "...And the doctor said Sandi's leg will be in a cast for at least a month. Poor Sandi, crutches don't go with anything." "That's the same thing those landmine victims are always complaining about."
• Needs Something, by Thecoffeeguru (COMPLETE!): “Hmmmm, 'need to atone.' Needs something.” Trent Lane lay on his bed, strumming his guitar and chasing his muse. He was broken from his reverie by the appearance of one Daria Morgendorffer in his doorway.
  
• Reaped Out, by Pinkminx (continued): Quinn inhaled deeply as she stood in the drive and waved farewell to her mother as Helen reversed the car and drove down the road. The gesture went unnoticed. Quinn turned and entered the Morgendorffer residence hesitantly. [Continued here: "This isn't about the boyfriend shish kebab is it?" Mason groaned as he turned to Daria. "Love these things..."]
  
• Tales of the Ringbearers: With New Responsibility, by Richard Lobinske (Part 4): Though their weapons and some loose gear remained, there was no sign of the team when Richard stepped through the portal to the old apartment. Silent, he inspected the room and briefly looked out at the now empty park below. All around him, he felt darkness. [Excellent spooky atmosphere.]
• A Time for Everything, by Thecoffeeguru (COMPLETE!): Daria stood at the bathroom counter, brushing her teeth. This was a chore she attended to daily and, as such things went, was not that bad. Or rather, it wouldn’t be that bad if it weren’t for one environmental concern. “Gawd Daria, why do you insist on using the bathroom for that? It’s not like you even use the mirror.”
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): [I don't dare ruin this one. Read it. Too funny! ]
  
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Silver (COMPLETE!): The deck beneath Tom Sloane's feet bucked as only an airship under fire would. He'd tried throwing the wheel, jerking the stricken ship away from its attacker.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Favorite Aunt Meets Amiga), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Hi, Amy Barksdale." "Jane Lane. Pleased to meet you." "You're cute." Amy was checking out Jane lustfully. "You're not so bad yourself." Jane returned the attention by closely examining Amy's rack.
• Unnamed story (Scenes that Should Be: Brains for Rent), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): Suddenly, the outer walls of the restaurant disappeared, leaving the five tables nearest to Scarlett's. A cold chill went down her spine as she watched the darkness surround them and stop at where the jagged edges of the floor tile were.
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes that Should Be: Brains for Rent), by SigDiff (Part 1): There was a loud ringing noise filling the small bedroom. Only one of its two beds was occupied, an uncombed mass of auburn hair visible at one end of a bulge in the blankets. Time for yet another boring day at work, Daria thought as she jerked awake, slamming her palm down on the alarm's “Off” button. [SF!]
• Unnamed story (Second Coming of the New Ideas Thread), by Trscroggs (Part 1): “Explosion in secondary drive array! Charge dumps 2 through 6 are unstable! Phase bubble is beginning to resynchronize with real space! Twenty minutes until field collapse!”

"I Do." "I Do." And They Did.

We have a sweet day for couples in the fandom today. This is the 34th anniversary of the day that Helen Barksdale and Jake Morgendorffer did whatever it was they did when they allegedly got married (according to The Daria Diaries), though at least one fanfic writer has speculated that they weren't actually married at all. Here the happy duo re-enacts a scene from the 1939 epic movie, Gone with the Wind, with Jake as Rhett Butler and Helen as Scarlett O'Hara. For more on the actual wedding, click here.

Here is a curio. On this day, 139 years ago, then-President Ulysses S. Grant signed into law a bill making Christmas a federal holiday. Imagine that, it wasn't a federal holiday for about a century before then. Boston even outlawed it when it was part of the British colony of Massachusetts (see this story). What did the Holiday Island teen known as Christmas do before then?

Today is also the [deep breath] United Nations International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking, and this is relevant here because there is an interview on the MTV website of Daria and Quinn's reactions to the 2000 movie Traffic. Daria gets it, and Quinn doesn't, of course.

Jake Cooks

Disasters the result from Jake's cooking have become a fanfic trope in the Daria community. Granted, there is canon justification for some of them, "Helen, my tongue is turning black!"

But in other cases, the Morgendorffers are shown eating his cooking without ill effects for distress (Helen stressing out and dumping the Penne a la Pesto on Jake's head really wasn't a result of his cooking). If nothing else, the family got a welcome break from the lasagna and unidentified vegetables that Helen always served.

Jake may have had a few disasters, but at least he showed a willingness to try something new. Something Helen never did.

Boxing Day for Daria

It pains me to inform you that today is National Catfish Day, for no reason whatsoever, but it is also a special day for Daria fans.

Nine years ago this evening, "Boxing Daria" premiered on MTV. That was a good episode. Lots of fanfic sprang from this one evocative tale. Commentary on the story may be found here and here. The biggest complaint about it was the lack of humor; Daria had turned into a coming-of-age drama though it started out as a pointed comedy. People loved it or didn't. I guess it depends on what you see in the inkblot. (I see a Balrog who has dropped two valentines and is very sad about that.)

Today is also the 106th anniversary of the birth of English writer Eric Arthur Blair, better known to the world as George Orwell, author of Nineteen Eighty-Four and Animal Farm. Daria was highly familiar with both texts, as she references the former in "Psycho Therapy" and took a copy of the latter to Camp Grizzly when she was younger (but had it taken away by her mother).

Speaking of 1984, Mr. DeMartino has a special thought from the Sick, Sad Life Planner. What a guy.

If you for some reason are curious to see what was being blogged about here one year ago, click here and find out. I'm trying not to repeat too much of what I've done before, and I especially want to start adding new screen caps and images (and sound bites) when possible.

I DIDN'T DO IT DEPARTMENT: I just noticed that the "Radio by Daria" button at left, which opens a screen to Last.fm's alternative rock station for your late 1990s listening pleasure, is actually called "Alternative radio Tag Rock" at the website. I honest to gosh had nothing to do with that happening. It sure wasn't called that a few months ago. Weird.

I kind of wish I could set up a Mystik Spiral Radio button, but I want to get more viewers, not less of them.

SPECIAL EXTRA IMPORTANT NOTE: In case anyone would like to take and use any of the MTV derived images or sound bites found on this blog for nonprofit fannish purposes, be my guest. I would be nuts to make any sort of claim on them, since they ARE after all owned by MTV. You need a pic for a blog, or a sound bite for your website, go for it. Just take 'em, don't even ask. If MTV tells me to knock it off, I will, but until then have fun. This is a fandom, not a doctor! Uh, mmm, I don't think that McCoyism worked, sorry.

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• An Affair to Remember, Please God Let Me Forget, by Kangaballs (preview): "What did you just say?" Daria asked Jane to repeat what she had mumbled over morning coffee. She was never quite the morning person and Daria wanted to be absolutely sure she heard her right.
• Formula Savvy, by Ajar (COMPLETE!): This marks the one year anniversary of The Event, so I suppose I should take stock of what has happened in the past year. Mack, Kevin, Jane and I have managed to eke out enough food through farming to live on. I suppose we should be lucky that we still used the old lead-lined refrigerator from my Dad's army days and that they had just gone to the grocery store earlier that day so that we had lots of seeds that were viable for planting.
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Betting on Delusions (COMPLETE!): "My fear is that my son will never understand me!" "Jake! We don't have a son." "Oh. Heh, right."

Watch the Skies!

Sixty-two years ago today, a pilot named Kenneth Arnold spotted strange shapes in the sky near Mt. Rainier. His report of "flying saucers" (as reporters called them) let to the UFO craze in the 1950s and 1960s, as well as to "The Lawndale File" and that nutbar Artie.

One hundred sixty-seven years ago today, Ambrose Bierce was born, a person no doubt familiar to Daria Morgendorffer as he was outrageously sarcastic and cynical in his writings. Bierce was a widely known editorial writer, reporter, and short-story author in his time. He is best known as the creator of the short story, "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge," later made into a famous short movie shown on Twilight Zone, and a snarky tome called The Devil's Dictionary. Daria would have especially appreciated the latter. He vanished without a trace in Mexico in 1914. Sick, Sad World undoubtedly has some explanation for that.

An amazing full-length portrait of Daria Morgendorffer in her Reaper outfit from "Reaped Out" has been posted by Pinkminx, and in two different but perfect versions, yet. Good Lord! You GO!

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• Cold Comfort, by Doggieboy (Part 10): When Daria left the battle scene, she took a few extras with her, but was still able to move along at a hefty jog. Dougherty didn’t even try to follow her, for which she was thankful. I should have three, maybe four hours at the most before he makes his next move against me, she thought and jumped over a small creek. (SFMB)
  
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 11): Mackenzie dropped through the hatch into the tractor cab and grabbed the radio mike, startling the driver. He banged his left arm on the side of the hatch hard enough to gasp aloud, but tried to ignore it. “Condor high north, condor high north!” he cried. “Wolf Pack, blackout! Dead stop!” the Old Man immediately responded. “Blackout! Dead stop!” (PPMB)
  
• Never Come to Be, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Trent Lane lost himself in the sensation of his rough fingers stroking the strings of his Fender dreadnaught acoustic, head bowed as the song drifted through the cemetery, the notes rising and falling as they were carried off on the wind. Jesse Moreno sat beside him, strumming rhythm and singing harmony when called for.
• Trent Has a Thing for Brunettes, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Jane yawned and, not really trying to see through blurry eyes, pulled open the door and stepped into the hall. Her first impression was of disheveled brown hair; her teeth clicked as she ran head-long into what felt like a person in front of Trent's bedroom door and the dull thud of shoes hitting the worn carpet. She looked up with a wince, lips already parted to apologize to her usually recumbent sibling—and froze. Angry tremors swept her lean body as her eyes blazed like blue suns.
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Angst Lord Time-Trials Redux), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): Over a hundred cameras recorded the scene as, in front of a stunned crowd, Angela Li came through the front doors of Lawndale High School Wearing a jet-black babydoll with matching garters and a matching silk scarf, Angela smiled at the crowd as the girls of the Cheerleading Squad and Fashion Club (dressed in the finest that Victoria's Secret could offer) paraded out from the doors behind her. As everyone watched, stunned into silence, Angela began to sing.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Favorite Aunt Meets Amiga), by Betting on Delusions (COMPLETE? Part 1?): Jane sighed audibly and pulled her legs to her chest, making herself as small as possible. She had been waging an internal war ever since her subconscious pulled the rug out from under her the prior afternoon. "I definitely was not expecting this," Jane muttered into her knees.

St. Elsewhere

• Puppeteering, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Come in." I entered what appeared to be a little-used room in a vacant Hollywood movie set. It was actually a vacant Toronto movie set, but if Toronto can replace New York on television, its sets can replace Hollywood ones. The man sitting at the desk wore khaki. He looked half like Jeff Probst of Survivor and half used-car salesman. He smiled, as if he were completely and absolutely satisfied with himself. [I never metafiction I didn't like!]

Wrestling & Wienerheads

Daria made a very early appearance on Beavis and Butt-head 16 years ago today in the episode, "Babes R Us." Check it out here while you can, read about it here, and buy the priceless artwork here. A short segment of this show, featuring Our Heroine, was included on the DVD for Is It College Yet? as an "Easter egg." She looks a bit different than she usually does.

Just a little something to perk up your day.

Oh, also in the realm of brightening your day, Pinkminx has revealed her remarkable artistic side with a portrait of Daria from her fanfic, "Reaped Out." Nice!

Plus Wouter has drawn a new one-page comic: "Daria and the Battle of the Sexes."

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• Helen Morgendorffer's Secret Past, by Kangaballs (Part 2): "You're going to trial for intent to sell and you didn't think I'd find out about it?!" Helen Morgendorffer stood with the phone cradled in her ear and her hands on her hips, pacing her office floor back and forth rapidly, trying hard not to yell or lose control. She couldn't risk her boss coming in and catching her using business time for personal phone calls. "What do you MEAN you didn't smoke it? I KNOW THAT. The problem is you were trying to SELL it and that's even worse!"
• Reaped Out, by Pinkminx (Part 14): "Oh, come on, look we all eventually get an old boyfriend or girlfriend on a Post-It."
• Tales of the Ringbearers: With New Responsibility, by Richard Lobinske (Part 3): Amazed at the feeling of being able to fly unaided after years of piloting helicopters, Archangel was in one of the middle positions of a finger-four formation with Don Javier's team. Below them, zombies retreated from the onslaught of multiple Ringbearer teams toward a distant, solid black arch.

The True Depths of Friendship...

Someone once said 'Friends help you move furniture. Real friends help you move bodies'.

Well, as this photo reminds us, Jane is a true friend. She let Quinn spend the night at Casa Lane because the copper-top was afraid to stay alone at home.

If you think of it - this is one of the biggest indicators of just how strong the friendship is between Daria and Jane. Not because Jane let her stay there (because Daria might have been annoyed otherwise - or not; after all, this was Season Two), but because Quinn saw Jane's house as a place of safety.

Personally - I'm actually surprised that Quinn knew where it was. Jane's home, that is.

Back on track. There's the notion that Quinn was actually scared (she actually begged to be allowed to stay) - and one must wonder if she considered before going over that asking to stay with the Lanes was certain fodder for Daria to tease her later... and she decided that it would be worth it. One also wonders if Quinn knew that, because she really was scared, that they'd probably go easy on her - especially with what Sandi and Tiffany did - and what Linda allowed to happen. (If I were Helen, I'd put my lawyer foot up Linda Griffin's officious ass for allowing her daughter to put her so-called 'friend' out on the street because of petty jealousy - and BTW, have Quinn and Sandi ever used that term to describe one another? In any regard, I can assure you that if I were Helen, I would have made someone cry after I got back.

If you think on that part of 'Gifted' - that would make an interesting fanfic. Quinn is ejected from the Griffin and Blum-Deckler homes because of pettiness (and in Linda Griffin's case, inattentiveness - ah, Linda, did it never occur to you that you were legally responsible for Quinn's safety?) and ran from the Rowe House (insert rim shot here) after the creepy, 'Stacy, dear, have you taken your Thorazine and seltzer cocktail yet?' behaviors showcased there. She has no other place to go except home, so she returns to Schloss Morgendorffer...

Let your imagination run wild as to what happens next. Oh, the possibilities for angst abound. Helen especially; she all but forced Daria to take a trip she didn't want to and sent Quinn over to Linda's house; Linda, because she totally failed to watch over someone else's child - and in the process, showed just how hopelessly inadequate she was at raising her own. (An interesting sidebar would be Chris and Sam Griffin both ratting Sandi out with extreme prejudice as to why Quinn was forced out, and how Linda never even bothered to check on Quinn, call around and look for her, inform the police that the teenager she's taken responsibility for has disappeared...)

It's when you look at moments like this, that one truly appreciates the friendship that Daria and Jane have. It's so strong that it allows Jane to feel a sense of responsibility for a spoiled brat and more (after all, she offered to buy a keg - and even if it's crap beer, that's still sixty-eighty bucks, plus the deposit on the keg, that she's tossing away on a person who won't even recognize her right to exist if they're walking down the same hall). Quinn annoyed Jane and more - you KNOW that Quinn found the best bed in the house and took it over, probably whined until Trent and Jane drove her home to get a nightgown and other things, and I can see her pouting until Jane fixed supper at Schloss Morgendorffer... and then, left the dishes for someone else to clean. And they didn't throw her into a ditch or just leave her to her own devices.

'Friends help you move furniture. Real friends help you move bodies.'

As I watched "Gifted" this weekend, with Quinn releasing copious amounts of verbal diarrhea into the air as Jane guided her towards home with one hand on her shoulder (and if there's ever been an image in Daria that should be commented upon at length or could launch a fleet of fanfic but hasn't, that should be it!), and Jane simply growled 'Take... her... now..." instead of leaping at Daria's throat for being the cause of it all, I thought to myself, 'Rarely are truer words spoken.'

A Significant Day for the Computer Age, Indeed

Sit back in your computer chair for a moment, ignoring the squeaky sounds, and cogitate on the following importance of this date.

141 years ago today, a man named Christopher Latham Sholes was granted a patent by the U.S. government for inventing a thing he called a "Type-Writer." Others had attempted this, but he put everything together and got it right. He went on a few years later to invent the QWERTY keyboard you are probably using right now.

97 years ago today, a man named Alan Turing was born. He is nowadays regarded by many as the father of computer science. Time magazine said of him in 1999: "The fact remains that everyone who taps at a keyboard, opening a spreadsheet or a word-processing program, is working on an incarnation of a Turing machine."

66 years ago today, a man was born named Vint Cerf. He is presented regarded by many as the father of the (capital I) Internet. He was involved in the creation of ARPANet, the Internet's predecessor, and now works for Google.

Finally, 45 years ago, Joss Whedon was born, who later went on to create Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which in time became one of the favorite, if not THE the favorite, TV show of Quinn Morgendorffer, per the episode "Speedtrapped." He also gave us the fandom term "Jossed," which has no relevance to Daria fandom now that the show is over.

What does this mean? It means.... um, wait, I went too far. Skip the part about Joss Whedon. Strike it out.

What it means is that today is VERY IMPORTANT in the history of the very item you are staring at right now. I mean the whole computer, not just the monitor. VERY IMPORTANT. Don't forget that.

Today is also the 83rd anniversary of the very first SAT test as we know it, which gave us the P-STAT that caused some distress among the Fashion Club in Is It Fall Yet? Is that cool or what?

That's all I had. Enjoy.

National Chocolate Eclair Day, Hooray!

Today is the birthday of NBC and MTV personality Carson Daly, who voiced the character of David Sorenson on Is It Fall Yet? Happy 36th, dude.

The International Committee for Adding Useless Holidays to the Calendar has declared that today is also National Chocolate Eclair Day, but no one wrote down how we are to celebrate it. Alas! Guess you should go have yourself a doughnut.

Off the top of my head, only one Daria fanfic had anything to do with chocolate eclairs. That was this one. Bon appetit.

NEWZ: Doggieboy's turn at the Iron Chef wheel, as he presents three new challenges for the Angst Lord Time-Trials Redux!

The "Second Coming of the New Ideas Thread" was just given a boost by newcomer Trscroggs, who has lots of wild new ideas for Daria fanfiction. Check it out.


FF.net

• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Part 19): Daria slipped out of bed, her eyes shut against the morning and against the sound of a hair dryer running at its highest setting. She assumed correctly that she wouldn’t be allowed into the bathroom anytime soon. With this in mind, she dragged on the familiar outfit that she wore daily. Over the past few weeks, Jane had been working. And Trent had been working. The notion completely ruined her mind: two people who seemed entirely timeless were actually sticking to a timed schedule.

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• Action Stories 3: Two Knights Defense, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): “Everything is going to be okay,” Lynn said gently. She was half carrying Ronnie as they slipped out of the building and into the alley. The drug that had been used on the younger girl was still playing havoc with her system, causing her to stumble every couple of steps.
• Going Over Viagra Falls, or: Do You Feel a Draft? by TAG (COMPLETE!): “I must say I'm honored you've chosen to spend your valuable Saturday night with me,” said Jane as she walked up to the table and took a seat across from her dour friend. “What happened, amiga? Did you get a night off from nursing duty?”
• Helen Morgendorffer's Secret Past, by Kangaballs (Part 1): [Continued from here] "I'm sorry I talked you into the extacy, but honestly I really believe you have a chance with my brother. You two fit, you mesh well together, and you bring out the best in that lazy bum. I've seen you with him for years now, and I know the way you look at him, and the way you think. I also know that my brother may always be some mediocre band player for the rest of his life and never do anything else or have much of a rich future, but I truly believe you wouldn't judge him for that, and you are the only one that I'd trust wouldn't break his heart and leave him lonely forever."
  
• A Little Dab Will Do Ya, by Kangaballs (COMPLETE!): Daria woke up in a bed that she was not familiar with, and with dread filling her brain she looked under the covers to reveal that she had been sleeping completely naked. Ice shards of fear shot through her as intense as the blinding headache that she'd been feeling since she opened her eyes.
• M4, by Silver (COMPLETE!): The doors to Lawndale High School swing open. A young man enters. His name is unimportant. The fact the metal detectors start howling is. He raises the pistol in his hand, and cuts down the security guard. The guard manages to trigger the alarm anyways.
• Reaped Out, by Pinkminx (Part 13): The whole room seemed to move in slow motion, from the moment Tom had slipped to the echoing shotgun that had brought complete silence to the mall less than a minute had passed. Three figures stood out against the sea of crouched bodies near the safety railing on the top floor. They watched as time seemed to return to a normal pace and the people began to move as the understanding that something terrible had just happened began to sink in.
  
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "But I swear," Tom said desperately as he pulled against his restraints, "I thought she was a feral pig eating a cow!"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Angst Lord Time-Trials Redux), by Derek (COMPLETE!): "In other news, the Morgendorffer sex scandal took a new turn today..."
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), Angelboy (Part 1, I hope!): Jane looked at the old picture from her high-school yearbook. She could have sworn that she had been sitting with Daria when that picture was taken, but there was no Daria in the picture. Flipping through the book, she frowned seeing that Daria wasn't in there at all.
• Unnamed story (Second Coming of the New Ideas Thread), by Trscroggs (Part 1, I hope!): Jane Lane walked morosely down the corridor after the school wide ‘mandatory’ memorial for Tommy Sherman. As she had expected, the memorial glossed over almost everything about Tommy, leaving only that he played football for the glory of Lawndale. She walked casually up to her locker, but checked to make sure she was alone before speaking to the open air. “Did you have something to do with this?”
  

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the dads in our fandom, and to the dads of all the fans. The golf bag image came from an old MTV Daria webpage about Jake, so it's legit. We still aren't exactly sure why Daria thought her dad was a hero in "Of Human Bonding"), but she must have had a reason. Maybe he was right that he was able to be a better dad than his dad had been ("Jake of Hearts"). We hope so.

Enjoy the day.

P.S. If you get bored today, please help edit smk's DariaWiki page to ensure its verisimilitudiness. She would like that. Trust me.

Historical Footnote Double-header!

Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom got her crown on this day, just 172 years ago. Jake Morgendorffer stands in for her on the left. I'm sure there was some kind of perverted symbolism involved on the artist's part, but we'll let that go. As Upchuck would say...

Also, the Sick, Sad Life Planner CD, on a morbid note, points out another special "Sick, Sad" event for this day with a tongue-in-cheek "feminist" tweak. Lizzie Borden was found not guilty of the axe murders of her father and stepmother 116 years ago. Maybe they felt sorry for her because she was an orphan. (Note: Just because I mention Lizzie Borden here does not mean I believe she should be construed as a role model for today's young women.) We hear from Jake Morgendorffer on Lizzie Borden, although Daria's view of Ms. Borden is slightly different. I feel like writing a poem.

Brit'ny Taylor took an axe
And gave her boyfriend forty whacks,
And when she saw what she had done,
She gave him one more whack for fun!
Gooooo Lawndale!

Thank you, thank you very much.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Disco316 should be recognized for adding more pages to the DariaWiki in the last few weeks than I think anyone can possibly believe. He is THE MAN. Thanks, dude! Brother Grimace, NightGoblyn, and Richard Lobinske have done their part too. This fandom is the best.

OTHER NEWS: This blog has nine followers! I honest to heaven have no idea what sorts of special things I am supposed to do for followers, but this blog is grateful to be followed by anyone for any reason. If you are a current follower or past follower or sorta thinking about following or not thinking about following but still reading this, let me know what you'd like to see more of here! Always open to suggestions.

NEW IRON CHEF: Losdia has kindly provided the angst-ridden among us to exercise their angst muscles in a new Iron Chef: Angst Lord Time-Trials Redux! On your mark, get set...

THE APOCALYPSE, NOW: Richard Lobinske has a new figure model, one with relevance to many Dariaverses: the source of all the zombie outbreaks!

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• Action Stories 3: Two Knights Defense, by NightGoblyn (Part 7): Huntress stepped over the last agent, now unconscious on the floor, and stared through the two-way mirror into the room her sister was in. Ronnie was half slumped over in a chair, blinking groggily as she came out of whatever they’d dosed her with during the kidnapping. Her hands were cuffed behind her back, and a piece of duct tape had been put over her mouth.
• Caught, by Legendeld (Part 2): “It was Jane’s first time, and I pressured her,” Quinn said almost on cue. Helen rolled her eyes before looking back at Jane, who blushed. “Well, that one worked on Trent.” “I’m not Trent.” Helen said.
• Daylight: Fallen from Grace: I Should Have Been Home Yesterday, by Disco316 (Part 8): Steve pointed to the sign on the gate. “Sir? If these signs are right, they might shoot us just for going up there.” The Commander took out his 9mm Beretta, cocked it, and aimed it at Steve’s head. “What do you think I’m going to do to you if you don’t? Worry about me, smart guy!”
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Angst Lord Time-Trials Redux), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): The smoke finally cleared and John Fleming looked down at Scarlett's body, as it laid face-down on the garage floor. "Dammit!" he said and then looked at the pistol in his right hand. It all went wrong.

And... a few new DariaWiki webpages worth perusing. (Is that the right word? Yeah, checked it, it was right.) Mucho thanks to Disco316, Brother Grimace, and Richard Lobinske.

• Skip Stevens
• Ronnie
• Kassia Ivanov
• Landon Massacre
• Everything Happens for a Reason
• Falling from Grace
• Starry Eyes Open
• Catilina
• Save the Nauga's Hide
• Cypher
• Chad (character)
• Memorial Day (character)
• Kiddo
• Amiga
• Poxicil
• Hydro-Eight
• Lawndale Medical Art Partners
• Doctor Davidson
• Nurse Chase

LATE NOTE: The problems with the above links have been fixed. Sorry about that!

Oh, what the heck, here's another list, but a short one. Know what the three longest pages in DariaWiki are?

• Daria Multiverse (42,456 bytes)
• Tired Daria Fandom Tropes (41,725 bytes)
• Defender Ring (40,973 bytes)

Summertime, Summertime, Sum-Sum-Summertime

The title above is from the 1958 hit song by The Jamies, which surely one of you must have heard. Anyway, this is the official beginning of summer, and it is also World Refugee Day, International Surfing Day, Litha (or Yule if you are in the Southern Hemisphere), and the 46th birthday of the Hot Line, a.k.a. The Red Phone.

I think we'll go with the surfing thing for art, courtesy of Daria's appearance on TV Guide, July 12, 1997.

Intriguing Daria Bit of the Week: C.L. Basso wrote an "odium" to 'shipper fanfic some years ago. You might enjoy it. I did.

FF.net

• Commitment Issues, by Fringeperson (Part 2): Daria wasn’t sure what time she woke up, but as it was Saturday at the Lane house, it didn’t matter. The house was silent compared to the activity of the Morgandorffer house, where Helen would be raving on the phone, Quinn would be playing her teeny-bopper music and gossiping about outfits, and Jake would be crying, ranting about his father, or trying too hard to be cheerful. However, there was still sound, and it seemed to be coming from Jane’s room. (Daria/Trent)
  

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• Choice of Words, by Silver (COMPLETE!): “Shut it!” The words were a slap, and Sandi Griffin turned in absolute shock. Over the three months they'd been a couple, Stacy's boyfriend—Chris, she reminded herself—hadn't once raised his voice in anger. She opened her mouth to snap back, but Chris kept ranting.
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 9): Mackenzie fired the grenade launchers directly into the zoms attacking from the highway, swinging the twin barrels to the right to catch more zoms coming up a shallow depression between the road and a two-story cliff face from a road cut. In seconds the weapon hammered the vast mob with projectiles that blasted heads and limbs from running bodies before exploding in dazzling fountains of white and yellow flame.
  

Juneteenth & Other Things That Happened Today

Today is Juneteenth, a holiday that resulted from a delayed communication about the results of the end of the American Civil War. Never trust bureaucracy to deliver a critical message on time. To note this event, we have Jodie Landon and Michael Mackenzie from a very early MTV Daria webpage, dated October 15, 1997. The quotes at right were from the same page. Celebrate the goodness in your own way.

This is also the 193rd anniversary of a very strange battle that took place in what is now Canada. I don't usually like to go into military stuff here, but this 1816 tidbit is an exception. The Battle of Seven Oaks is the only known major conflict to have been fought, not between rival nations or political groups, but between rival business corporations. Both of them were British, too. (If you can find another such conflict, let me know.) The link explains all. And we thought businesses today played hardball. This is such an intriguing historical footnote, you wonder how it could be used in an alternate history story. That would be cool.

Question: Would any character from Daria celebrate Juneteenth or acknowledge it in some way? If Jodie did, I think it would be through some organization and she would treat it as just another thing her dad was making her do to look like Supergirl. Mack would do it if his family had a tradition of celebrating the day, especially if his ancestors had been slaves before the Civil War. Mack would enjoy the day. Jodie would not.

Random Thought: Mack's last name, Mackenzie, is Scottish in origin. Many Scots migrated to the North American colonies before the American Revolution, but many of those later migrated to what became Canada because they were Loyalists. How did Mack's paternal line get that name? There was a white U.S. Army officer named Mackenzie who commanded an African-American unit after the Civil War; he figures in Texas history, curiously, opening a Juneteenth connection of sorts. There was also a British general named Mackenzie who became governor of Barbados and ended slavery there. Fun speculation.

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• Action Stories 3: Two Knights Defense, by NightGoblyn (Part 6): AP parked the van, looked up at the building he’d parked near, looked down at the tracker, then back up at the building, and then frowned deeply. “Maverick, that’s the Gotham City Federal Building,” Lynn said. “Then Ronnie is visiting the Feds. Don’t we work for the Feds? Are you and I not, in fact, Federales?”
  
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 5): Marina woke from a particularly bad trip that morning. The hallucinations that resulted from using a psychoactive drug, and the escapism that went with it, was an unwanted side effect of sensory enhancement, or so she told herself. Unfortunately, her emotions tended to project themselves onto her environment. It's going to take a lot to get back to my proper state of mind, Marina thought to herself. It in fact took a pot of coffee, two egg whites and a couple of uppers for her permanent smile to return.
• Tales of the Ringbearers: Camping, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "You know, I'm so glad that the Ringmasters added a couple of minor mods to the transfiguration ability," Jane Lane said, looking off in the distance at Mount Covenant as he stood on the plateau of the Devil's Tower. "Makes camping on top of a mountain easier."

Back from Suffragette City

On this day, 136 years ago, civil rights leader Susan B. Anthony was found guilty of voting in the 1872 presidential election. It was illegal for her to vote because she was a woman. She was found guilty and ordered to pay $100 plus court costs. Her response: "May it please your honor, I will never pay a dollar of your unjust penalty.... Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God." And she got away with it. And nowadays women can and do vote, though one of them wishes otherwise. We also have a cynical view from a Daria cast member. Can you guess who the speaker is?

My view is that it's good that women can vote. This allows us to spread out the blame after each election.

BAY STATE DARIACON now being planned for early July! Read and make the date!

FF.net

• Commitment Issues, by Fringeperson (Part 1): Something was bothering Daria. It was keeping her up too, which was frustrating even if it was Friday night and she didn’t have to think of school tomorrow. (Daria/Trent)
• Family Planning, by Alice Shade (COMPLETE!): As Quinn passed by Daria`s door, she paused for a second. Daria was obviously home, and she was obviously with someone, since there were two voices engaged in quiet conversation behind the door. Probably the art chick came over for a visit, considered Quinn. Jane, was it?

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• Action Stories 3: Two Knights Defense, by NightGoblyn (Part 5): “You realize this will be noticed,” he said as he drove towards the freeway. “Mysterious government agencies do not like it when their employees borrow company equipment for personal projects.”
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 8): In mid-afternoon, the convoy came to a halt a few miles southeast of a desert town called Holbrook. This time the combat engineer’s opinion was not needed regarding the safety of the U.S. 180 bridge crossing the Little Colorado River, because there was no U.S. 180 bridge crossing the Little Colorado River. (HTML)
  
• A Present for Dad (a Scarlett tale), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): The seventeen-year-old redhead quickly hugged him and said, "Sorry I missed you this morning, but I had a pressing appointment." The man blinked and looked at her, a skeptical expression on his face. "You were snoring when I left this morning."
• Tales of the Ringbearers: With New Responsibility, by Richard Lobinske (Part 2): His passengers screamed and kicked at the zombies climbing up on the landing skid while Capt. Wright struggled to maintain control of the helicopter. "What the f…" he muttered when movement above him and to the right caught his eye.

St. Elsewhere (late addition!)

• Water over the Bridge, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): [I honestly don't know how I missed seeing this one pop up, but it is terrific. Drop what you are doing and read it. Thanks, Roentgen!]