Blow That Horn, Mack Daddy!

Today is International Jazz Day, and Mack is giving all he's got as the late jazz trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie. Any jazz fans out there in fandom? I know we have at least one trumpet player. Also, who on Daria do you think would be a fan of jazz?

Fanfic Update!

• Babblefish (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'So, Daria,' Jane asked, 'did you hear?' 'Always have, most likely will.' 'No, I mean--did you hear about the new exchange student?"


• Blast from the Past, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria was watching the Blast Corps. video half-heartedly, focusing more on writing the latest Melody Powers adventure. Really, Jane had wanted to watch the video, and Daria didn't want to kick her friend out, so she got to watch the old game being played by one of its dedicated vans."


• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal' (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by Shiva (part 10): "The group found themselves mesmerized as it reached the edge of the table and dangled precariously and then began to race around the outer edges of the table like a race car. 'I guess whoever is doing this wants our attention.' Daria muttered under her breath."


• Daria: Virtual Season 4, by peapotmaster (part 1): "QUINN Daria, can you do me a favor? DARIA Don't you ever knock? And the answer is no. QUINN I need to use your room for the next Fashion Club meeting, and..." (Second version)


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: CH 11 Broken?, by Shiva (part 2): "'Doesn't he remind you of someone?' Jane mulled that over and asked, 'Who?' 'Me.' Daria said flatly, 'Before I met you.'"


• The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (part 5): "Giles pulled the phone away to blink at it before holding it back to his ear. 'Horace Watson? Has something happened to the Council?' 'No. Well, the council has done something. I just found out that a team has been sent to terminate your Slayer.'"


• I Hate You So Much Right Now, by Brother Grimace (parts 1 - 3): "It was the smell of burning metal, fuel and overcooked meat that made Stacy's nose twitch as she regained her senses, barely seconds after the concussion of the exploding Gridrunner had tossed her across the length of the hangar..." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• I Loathe a Pay-Per-View, by SacredDust (parts 1 - 3): "Your parents are working late. Your annoying siblings are out of the house. And Pizza King is on the way. There's only one thing that could make this imaginary night better: the wrestling show you ordered on your mom's credit card. You turn on the TV, flip past Sick Sad World, and there it is..." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 8), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 9): "The squirrel who had taken the Emerald from the Griffin's and lost it to Tamsin arrived at the Varmittan Palace Tree after walking there rather slowly. 'I must report my failure at grabbing that emerald,' he said to the guards at the bottom of the Tree."


• Layers (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'So, Daria tells me you date quite a bit,' Tom said lightly. 'Ohhh, I don't think so," his girlfriend's sister waved a hand with transparent modesty. '...Well yeah.' He chuckled. So this was the first layer of her personality, and the only one most people ever saw. Tom wondered how deep he could go before Daria or her parents got home."


• Li's Science Substitute (IC: DeMartino has Barch Arrested), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I don't believe this!' Li hissed through her clenched teeth as soon as the door to her office was shut with the cops safely on the other side of it's soundproofed goodness."


• The Mageborn Cynic : Daria & the School of Magic : Part 3, by peetz5050 (part 3): "Mack gave them all his most charming smile and was rewarded with friendly smiles in return. These mages were definitely his superiors in the craft and could have cold-shouldered him if they chose but the impromptu demonstration by Lady Daria at lunchtime today had shown that they all had much to learn, particularly when it came to magical defense and offense."


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 6): "It didn't take Daria and Bob long to discover that everyone in school knew that they had gone on a date. That was because Brittany Taylor and Kevin Thompson came up to them, wearing full uniform as usual, and pretty much blurted it out like this."


• Quinn's Code 07: The Grounded Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Slowly the lights flicked back on, with an addition. Two spotlights were focused on the entrance. Suddenly Cindy and Kristen entered, skating and wearing Guild Wars inspired cosplay. 'Quinn, what are you doing?' Daria asked rhetorically. 'Something that will get her into trouble no doubt,' Jennifer groused, quietly."


• Quinn's Code 08: Alternapalooza, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Cindy turned from her computer where she had been reading a game strategy site. 'Would you like to come to Alternapalooza this weekend?' she asked. Quinn looked up from her DS. 'I've heard of that. Some kind of alternative music festival?' she asked."


• Raise (IC: Thank God You're Here), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Thank God you're here,' Quinn said to Helen, who looked quite frazzled; she had just broken the speed limits on at least five roads to get from work to Quinn, who had called, saying she had an emergency."


• Suffocation, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Are you sure you want to see her, Mrs. Morgendorffer?' asked a doctor to Helen. He nervously bit his lower lip."


• Three (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "'Absolutely not,' Helen said, crossing her arms and glaring at her mother." (Three More)


• Trolling IRL (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Okay, Daria,' Jane started. 'What's with the smirk?'"


• Twin Tracks (chapter 4), by oni (part 4): "Michelle was puzzled. 'What's Sick Sad World?' Seated into a corner inside Rizzo's Pizza, the four girls made small talk while they waited for their pizza to come."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by GDTSP9 (COMPLETE!): "The phone rang. 'Who could that be?' Tom Sloane picked up the phone."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'So Doctor, what's my diagnosis?'"


• Unpopular, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "'I've never,' Quinn her voice small, 'I wasn't ready.' 'I'll take it slow, but this is what couples do. You do want to be my girlfriend right?' he said, 'Because I really want to be your boyfriend. I've never had a girlfriend as pretty as you.'"


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 12): "The first thing that Victor picked up on was the smell, the Zon stunk of booze, pot, vomit, assorted other drugs, more vomit, and a certain perfume that came from never having been properly scrubbed since opening day."

It Was a Long Wait, but It Finally Happened!

It's a big anniversary for fandom: three years ago today, the first fans started receiving their Daria DVDs. The DVDs themselves may have been a little disappointing, but you can't deny that the release had a major impact: soon after, lots of new fans arrived on the scene. Hooray for the DVDs and hooray for the new faces!

Fandom News!

• Erin M. asks if anyone else keeps getting a forbidden error when they try to edit a post.


• Read MrMagnum's basement rant and share your own flooding woes.


• Who would win in a fight between.... Discuss your hypothetical character fights, starting with Helen and Ms. Li!


• SacredDust wonders what everyone thinks of the musical episode.


• Two Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: DIsaac's Things that will never come out of Jodie's Mouth... EVER and PrecambrianStudios's Ad Air.

Hugging Both Trees and Australians!

Today is Arbor Day, so get out there and hug a tree. Or, better yet, plant one! Holiday Island Arbor Day would also like to know if his sandals really look that bad.

This is also Hug an Australian Day, so all those Daria fans from down under had better start running. O'Neill's looking pretty touchy-feely today.

Fanfic Update!

• Abattoir Blues (1): The Hitman and Her, by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "He gives me one of those looks that says 'you're seriously asking me that? Really?' and I finally get what he's trying to say. 'Oh my God, are you saying he has a job for me?"


• Almost Like Depth, by SacredDust (part 1): "Forest green! Now that was something she didn't see enough of. Like trees and leaves...and her sister's jacket. I wonder where Daria is now, she thought."


• ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (part 6): "'Nothing in particular, I came here to make a donation.' Hearing those words Angela had to restrain herself from jumping on the Adonis she had in front of her, tear off his clothes and own him in any way permitted by physical laws."


• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (part 7): "'He doesn't know what it means...' An old woman screamed as the last seconds of her life flew by, as she was hurled through the air."


• The Double-Crossed Girls, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'No.' Sandi moved to stand in front of Val. Stacy, now leaning against a set of lockers and beginning to breathe normally, froze in fear at Sandi's dangerous tone. 'But--' Brittany gave Sandi her best puppy-dog eyes. In return, Sandi gave Brittany her best 'I will tear your pigtails right out of your scalp' glare. 'Get. Lost.'" (Part 3)


• Fate/Lawndale Codes, by Silver (part 4): "Lancer, for his part, looked bewildered. Daria looked between the servant and Jane, her expression gradually getting more and more irate as she did. 'You two have met?'"


• Holy Trouble, by januense (part 1): "'JANE LANE! WAKE UP!!!' The third time, the voice was just as loud as before and NOT of this world. Maybe to underline the request it was followed by a lightning bolt that hit Jane's bed, almost destroying it."


• Inspiration (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I give up.' Daria complained while crumpling up paper from her notebook and wadding it up into a ball."


• It's Esteem, as in Esteeeeeem! (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'How dare they put me in here with the losers?!' Val fumed to herself as she took a seat in O'Neill's classroom after school was supposed to be over."


• The Mageborn Cynic: Part 3, by peetz5050 (part 2): "Trent made his way back to his horse and rode away. He had never been comfortable with the duty his father had laid on his shoulders, as the younger son he had thought he would have been able to devote himself to music and... to be honest with himself... drinking and carousing, dancing sleeping and occasionally... oh and perhaps a little gambling too."


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 5): "'Bob, you know your way to a girl's heart.' Daria said as she looked at him from across their candlelit table."


• Tiffany as a Brain (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (part 3): "'I thought you said Lawndale was lonely for you?' Daria asked Tiffany quietly after she had been introduced to Andrea Hebuca and Jane Lane."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Shockfest 2007!), by GDTSP (COMPLETE!): "Jodie Landon dived face first into her bed. As she had expected, she had failed to convince her parents to have the holidays off. There was no time to sulk, however, as she still had a history paper to write, along with 'urgent' work from two different extra-curricular activities."(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Like in most horror movies it was a dark and stormy night, the lightning crackled through the windows, revealing the silhouette of a boy walking through a living room with something shiny and sharp in her hands."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Everybody's dead, Jane.'"

"If there isn't anything more to do, you know, I thought maybe I could go home and say good-bye to my loved ones."

Happy Administrative Professionals' Day! I'm sure that this single greeting card holiday more than makes up for the mountain of stress and overwork that crushes Marianne every single day.

Hmmm. Deeply stressed, completely dominated by Helen, no apparent backbone at all...has anyone ever done a Jake/Marianne shipper? They have an awful lot in common.

Fandom News!

• Vlora shares her Daria roleplay on Tumblr.


• RLobinske shares an essay in Deep Thoughts: There are no Marching Morons.


• Listen to SinisterExaggerator's Mario Paint Composer cover of "You're Standing On My Neck" in the thread.


• Is Sandi a narcissist? Give your reasons why or why not.


• Kara Wild invites you to read her new project: blogging the Earth's Children series.


• What's your favorite Monty Python sketch? Share your choices and clips in the thread.


• echopapa is looking for stories about Jane running the Boston Marathon.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: ThanatosRW's 2 Weeks Notice and Vukodlak's A different way of meeting.

The Refreshing Way to Celebrate Earth Day!

Today is Earth Day, so take a moment to ponder our cylindrical home and--what? It's supposed to be round? Damn corporate sponsors!

I know we saw Arbor Day in "Depth Takes a Holiday," but what do you suppose Earth Day would be like? Probably very grounded. Get it? Grounded? Ow! Stop that.

Fanfic Update!

• 50 Words of Barch and O'Neill, by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "'I hate Mondays.' To most people it was an innocuous statement, but somehow Janet was the only one he could admit hating anything to."


• Andrea, President of the Student Council (Iron Chef: Who is on the Student Council?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As the black-clad Gothic nightmare stared down the group of squeak clean kids, with all the telltale signs of happy thoughts, answered dreams, and more money than sense. Andrea just sneered at them while idly swinging her gavel in the air with a lacy gloved hand."


• Another Day In Self-Esteem Class (IC: The Thompson twins), by LadieTAG (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane and Kelly Thompson made their way to their now permanent afterschool activity - Esteem Class. They sat down in their usual seats, recognizing one or two of their fellow inmates."


• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal' (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by Shiva (part 9): "After the slam of the door, things for some reason began to turn hazy. Not even bothering to see what others were thinking, Daria felt her knees weaken and she sank onto the nearest bed and sat down with relief."


• Daria House (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Quinn chuckled. 'Seriously. Jane...we got to find someone else. Your brother was lazy at your house and he's lazy at this one.'"


• Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 8): "'Darius?' Tom asked glancing up, 'Penny for your thoughts?' Without looking up from his phone Darius said very flatly, 'Brit told the wrong people about the "small party for friends".' The Sloane kids winced."


• The Double-Crossed Girls, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "'Quinn! You'll never guess who's waiting by the phone to hear from you!' After a brief moment of shock, Quinn recovered. 'Like, only every guy in Lawndale?'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 19b): "'We've got more raw footage than there's possible use for', said Dylan, with more sincerity than Kris could ever recognise. 'For example, we have to look at all the times you explained to us about “muscle definition” before we can choose the best way of telling that part of the Kris Brocklethwaite story.'"


• The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (parts 3 and 4): "This time it was Willow who suddenly became serious. 'Look, um,' she stopped and sighed. 'I-I'm sorry.' 'Sorry won't fix it, Willow,' Buffy replied. 'You made me kill Ford.'" (Part 4)


• Family Reunion, by januense (part 11): "The path was rough, with rocks and bushes everywhere, and the fact that it was a moonless night didn't help at all. The door from where they entered was already hidden behind a thick wall of trees. Even if they had walked only for a few minutes, Daria felt lost in the middle of nowhere. In fact, they were."


• Fighting or Fun? (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'You're digging up home movies again?' Helen asked Jake."


• Fruitless, by malakite (part 1): "Sandi Griffin noticed with total disinterest as a car pulled up to the curb. Then a girl she'd never seen before stepped out with a small smile."


• The Lengths of Sisterhood, by LadieTAG (part 1): "The silence of the night was broken by the sound of an infant waking up for her two a.m. feeding. She looks at the door and sees a thin figure heading her way. A smile forms on her tiny face as the figure lifts her up from the cradle and carries her into the kitchen."


• Love is Strange, by Shiva (part 4): "'Who really wants a bag of nuts at Eight PM?' Evan began to answer, 'Alcoholics.' Then he amended it with, 'Well if they want to catch the drunk crowd they should just put this place next to a bar and have it open on the graveyard shift and early mornings.'"


• Mackbeth, by SinisterExaggerator (part 5): "WITCH MORRIS: More labored than Mackbeth, but freer. WITCH BENNETT: Much more messed on the stress test than him, but calmer. Her onslaught of internal rhyme draws sudden, but unsurprised, looks from the other two witches."


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 20): "'Hey,' Mack thought to himself, 'What's Tom Sloane doing here?' Tom turned his head by chance and noticed Mack looking at him and gave a wave, Mack nodded and seemed to think for a minute before waving the kid over."


• Mind Games (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'HELEN, HOW COME YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE AWAY? ARE YOU SCREWING AROUND WITH ERIC?!'"


• The Offering (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the pitch black of night there were faint flickers of light coming from candles sitting on the ground in a semi-perfect circle. Four teenage girls stood looking down a freshly dug grave in the middle of the woods."


• Protective, by SacredDust (part 1): "Quinn wasn't blind. Frumpy clothes and a bad attitude couldn't hide that Daria was...well, almost as pretty as her underneath. And Quinn wasn't deaf, either. She heard the things people said about her 'cousin.' Even some of the things they said to her face. And she didn't like them."


• The Punk and the Snark (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (parts 1 - 3): "As Mr. DeMartino screamed in agony at the sheer stupidity of Kevin's latest answers to the teachers questions. Bob the Punk leaned towards Daria and whispered, 'Why does he always ask those two idiots to speak when this is ALWAYS the result?'" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Robert's Dance Party: Going With Another Date (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jodie Landon watched from a comfortable distance, leaning on a locker as her bubbly blond 'friend' Brittany Taylor acted on her earlier suggestion of asking Robert out to the dance."


• Sexy Daria: The Misery Sex, by Shiva (part 4): "Tommy Sherman's face fell and he began to reply but a distant sound of a crash followed by screams cut him off. The three of them froze."


• Sexy Stacy (IC: Stacy Never Joins the Fashion Club), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Stacy finished putting on her lip gloss and blew herself a kiss before shutting her compact with a loud click."


• Twin Tracks (chapter 4), by oni (part 3): "'Well at least I'm not the only amateur around here,' Jane said to herself. Stephanie's shoulders drop a little in defeat while she walked back to the machine to retrieve her ball. In monotone, Daria said from Jane's side, 'That makes three of us.'"


• Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Oh come on,' Daria scoffed. 'A ghost giving kids bad grades? That's the Crystal Pepsi of scary stories.' Jane crossed her arms in a huff. 'Fine, Daria, let's hear you do better!'"


• Untitled Tom based mini fic, by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "He found himself looking at his mother who appeared less than pleased with him. She simply remained seated in a comfy looking chair next to an end table with a lone lamp and started to look very clichéd. Tom let his exhaustion get the better of him and just wanted the impending lecture to be over."


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 11): "He barely even noticed that his father had been sitting at the table with a small lunch in front of him, Jake had stared at his son the entire time he was in the room and seemed to struggle to say something, anything. But by the time he had come up with the word 'Hi', Victor was already gone."

Cough, Cough

It's 4/20, so smoke 'em if you got 'em. Trent's apparently way ahead of you, though.

Today is also Volunteer Recognition Day, so you can celebrate your awareness of others by reading to seniors. Ever wonder what it would be like to read Ginsberg's Howl while stoned? Now's the perfect opportunity.

Fandom News!

• Kara Wild would like some advice about what to do with certain furniture.


• MartinUK discusses his next trip, and the latest complication involved in it.


• Talk about the bombing at the Boston Marathon.


• Who is Doug Walker's seventh favorite movie or TV character? Find out in the linked video in the thread.


• Erin M. gives the closing summary for Worldhopper.


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: ThanatosRW's Faceswapping, Walter Kovacs's The Thompson twins, and SinisterExaggerator's Thank God You're Here.


• Share TV Tropes in our own fanfics and TV Tropes in our own fanart.

A Dark Caption Contest

Shed some light on this scene by posting your captions in the comments!

Happy Birthday to the Tramp!

Happy birthday to the late Charlie Chaplin, born on this day in 1889. I suppose Mr. O'Neill makes people laugh in the same way Chaplin did...but Chaplin did so intentionally.

This is also Stress Awareness Day, and Jake has the following message for us all: "Why do people keep telling me I'm stressed? If I weren't stressed, I'd get stressed by everyone telling me I'm stressed!" Nice, calming words from a Zen master.

Fanfic Update!

• ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (part 5): "'I'm sorry, I swear Andrea, I didn't want to peek, it was an accident. Those photos fell with the sheets, I took one without thinking about it.' 'Don't worry Daria, I know that you're not a busybody. Also you didn't know of the existence of those photos so you could not have taken them on purpose.'"


• The Author as a Sadomachist (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'So, Daria,' her lover asked. 'What kind of toys do you have for me?'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 19a): "It had only been because it was raining that Dylan and Rod had reluctantly accepted a ride from Ms FitzPatrick when they all came out of the movie theatre. That was just bad luck. It was more than bad luck, though, that made Ms FitzPatrick decide that having students make films of their own was Dylan's idea."


• Emory and Claire (Emory Barksdale), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In a room that was decked out in 'latter-day hippie', Emory Barksdale found himself naked as the day he was born, lying in bed with the sheets pulled down."


• The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (part 7): "Breakfast meant having to face his family, which normally involved Quinn commenting on his choice of unhealthy morning food, his mother burying her head in the paper, and Dad in working himself up into a frenzy to get to work. Now however things had changed, though how long it would last was a matter of debate."


• Helen and the Ape, by SinisterExaggerator (part 3): "In the hospital, Jake lay propped up in a bed, and the first shards of light were beginning to pour into his mind. Coherence, however, would have to wait."


• I'm Tagging With the Band: Hiring Amy (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It wasn't often that Amy Barksdale got an invitation to be interviewed for a publicist job, under most circumstances she would be the one to seek out the job rather than have one fall into her lap. 'Especially one that involves Mystik Spiral.'"


• Isn't It Nice to Be Home? (IC: Thank God You're Here), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Thank God you're here.' Trent's alarmed greeting surprised Jane, visiting home from the post-collegiate art circuit. For him to break the shell of lethargy that normally surrounded him in a musky haze, she knew there had to be something going on."


• Lindy's Car Crash (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It had looked like something from a movie, as in a brief moment of stillness Lindy saw the other car through her windshield. No matter how much she had tried to brake, there simply wasn't enough time."


• Losers No More, by Shiva (part 15): "Graham laughed nervously and shuffled his feet before saying, 'Daria, I- I'm not a good dancer.' 'I'm not a dancer at all.' She answered with a shrug. Graham's face began to fall. Daria sighed, 'Ok, we can dance a little bit.'"


• Mack is a Dick: To Tommy Sherman (IC: Mack is a Dick), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'That's the name. Don't wear it out. whoomp!' Tommy Sherman began to say before Mack grew sick of his arrogant mouth and socked him hard square in that busted up nose of his."


• Nurse Goodnsexy Meets the Legion! (The Adventures of Nurse Goodnsexy), by Shiva (part 1): "After a couple of days of experimentation, that funny little bracelet began to reveal some of it's delicious little secrets."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Breakfast at Tiffany's), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Tiffany Blum-Deckler stood in front of the toaster, her eyes fixated on it's shininess and her reflection within it."


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 10): "As Victor stepped into the living room, he had a little smirk on his face as he saw Quinn whining about Daria going to that cheerleader's party to their mother, who was only half-paying attention."


• Vivian, by ST91 (part 8): "If anybody had observed Vivian's life in the last days he would have said that she was a very lucky woman."


• Yunny: DA SEECWEL, by Brain Camper (part 2): "su den duh aloons cume and dey shey bwuy yu gunna bhee shpancked"

After Twenty-Two THANKLESS Years!

Today is Ex Spouse Day, and I see Ms. Barch is already celebrating. Let's just leave her to it, out of range of any flying debris, shall we?

It was also on this day in 1865 that Abraham Lincoln was shot, but Brittany's still not sure whether or not the bullet killed him. Give Jodie a little more time--she's still trying to explain it.

Finally, this is the anniversary of both "The Lab Brat" (from which that image of Barch was taken) and "Of Human Bonding" in 1997 and 2000. One episode featured a traumatized mouse while the other featured Helen traumatizing Quinn in front of her friends. And a good time was had by all.

Fandom News!

• Alvious has a question for the Grammar Police.


• Are the Lawndale Lions crap? See Charles RB's thoughts on the subject.


• Is this for real, or is it a prank? Doggieboy shares a job ad that makes him wonder.


• PrecambrianStudios posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: (Insert Character Here) Meets (Insert Author Here).

Well Done, Yuri!

It's It's Yuri's Night, which celebrates the anniversary of the first manned spaceflight in 1961 by cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin. Sorry, Jodie. You're a bit too late this time.

Fanfic Update!

• Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 3): "She jumped backwards with a strangled cry as five totes full of candy bar cases hit the floor with an amazing boom, cardboard boxes and loose candy bars flying every where."


• Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 7): "Tom rolled his eyes, 'You mean Pat's newly minted Ex, Sue Bee?' 'Yes... Wait, Ex?!' Darius exclaimed, 'When the hell did that happen?'"


• Emo Tom is Emo (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (part 4): "'God this is awful.' Tom commented as 'Aunt Andrea' played tour guide for him as she showed him around the 'Ok to Cry Corral'."


• I'm Tagging With the Band: Meeting Tom (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The Grove Hills/Fielding Mixer was about what Tom Sloane expected it to be, a sucky event with sucky people. But the reason he had come to this one was due to the band that was hired to play this time, Mystik Spiral."


• The Power of Alchemy (IC : Legion of Lawndale Super Villains), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Ever since she was little, Daria knew that she was special. It was more than just her intelligence, or how everyone seemed so desperate to force her to be ordinary, it was something else about her that made her special."


• The Silliest Thing I've Ever Written, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "After finally powering through The Angst Guy's newest story, Peetz fell to the floor of his room and retched."


• The Summer Back, by Shiva (part 5): "'You know,' Daria began slowly, 'This is a first for me, seeing someone discover good cinema for the first time.' She then gave one of those strangely alluring half smiles and added, 'I kind of like it.'"

One of Jake's All-Time Favorite Holidays

Happy Golfer's Day! Jesse has apparently added the word "Fore!" to his limited vocabulary, and I'm sure he's bound to bump into Jodie at some point thanks to her parent-mandated golf lessons.

Hmm. There's a 'ship I'm pretty sure I haven't seen before. And...I think it could actually work, too!

This is also Siblings Day, so perhaps Quinn and Daria--no? Okay, maybe Helen, Rita, and Amy--hmm, bad idea. But if only Sandi could get along with Sam and Chris--all right, forget I brought it up. At least Trent and Jane get along pretty well. Or they will once Trent wakes up and Jane gets back from her run.

Fandom News!

• Lessons from Lawndale has been updated again. Thanks, cfardell_Brenorenz29!


• Share your thoughts on the recent death of Margaret Thatcher.


• Do your kids belong to you? Talk about the role of the community in raising children.


• Ranger Thorne shares something kinda cool he did with a projector.

Sk8er Girl

Happy birthday to the late figure skater Sonja Henie, born on this day in 1912. Henie was not only a multiple Olympic Champion but also a film star. Not bad for a "jock," eh, Quinn?

Fanfic Update!

• Curing Jealousy, by Shiva (part 16): "Sandro nodded and replied, 'Hello Miss Morgendorffer, I was just looking for Darin. But now that I think about it, maybe you could give me some advice.'"


• Daria and Jane: On North Korea and Kim Jong-un (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane: 'So Daria, you think that the North Koreans are actually going to go to war this time?'"


• Daria's World, by baelparagon (part 3): "The phone rang three times, like it always did before a familiar voice answered the phone. 'Yeah? Who's calling?' Daria smirked at the question/response, having missed it after nearly a month."


• Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 6): "'Uh Dad? Can I have a quick work.' 'Sure sport!' Steve Taylor answered while grabbing his briefcase, 'What about?' 'I was thinking about having a little party for my friends sometime this summer, you know something that'll let them escape the boring party circuit.'"


• Fight Like Hell, by Shull Bitter (part 3): "In the dark she couldn't see well enough to know if she'd collected everything. She braced herself to look up from her laundry, look down the corridor. Nothing there. But suddenly the air felt thick and warm behind her. She felt it caress the back of her neck and smelled that awful odor and—"


• The Final Appointment, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "The car pulled up in front of the hospital. Well, it wasn't a real hospital. Specifically, it was the Lawndale Pet Hospital. Daria stepped out of her car and shut the door. Trying her best to stifle the tears, she opened the back door and reached in for the cat carrier."


• Irony Maiden 02, by BF110C4 (part 2): "Jane turned to see a girl in a somewhat fancy suit, wearing nasty looking Doc Martens and a putting on some mechanic gloves left in one of the tables, without any further words examined the engine, playing with her glasses as she did so. 'Do you have some glue available? A one-part adhesive will prevent any further damage without sacrificing structural integrity.'"


• LSD, by PrecambrianStudios (part 4): "'This is an absolute disaster!' Ms. Li roared to the Executive of Education board member's face. 'How can I possibly be expected to manage two schools! I don't even know sign language!'"


• Lunch at Crestmore (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So who's Jane?' Jodie asked as Daria took her seat at the table in the small diner that tended to serve the students from nearby Crestmore U. Darin answered, 'She's fine, now that she's settled in at BFAC.'"


• Mackbeth, by SinisterExaggerator (part 4): "MACKBETH: To speak of speaking: tell us who--Rubs eyes--no, what--you are! WITCH MORRIS: All hail, Mackbeth! Hail, captain of Lawndale!"


• One (More) Little Thing Part 2, by peetz5050 (part 18): "Evelyn Barksdale had a headache, another headache, it was every blessed day now and the tablets just didn't work anymore and they were getting worse."


• Pet Peeve (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria entered the hotel, brandishing a large pet carrier in her hand. The clerk could barely take a glimpse of what looked like a cat inside. It looked somewhat large for its species, but he paid it no mind and focused on business."


• The Punk and the Prep, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Tom,' Bob said to his lover, 'I though you didn't like boxing.'"


• Rude Awakening Ep 13: The Hiring Game, by DIsaac (part 4): "TOM: Wait, I remember a guy that year that climbed the flagpole drunk with a rainbow wig with some day of the week undies. I think they said Tuesday but the incident happened on a Friday. CLAYTON: That was me."


• Tiffany as a Brain, by Shiva (part 2): "'Well my parents moved to Lawndale last year but this is my first real experience at a public school.' Tiffany explained to Daria as they ate their inedible school food during lunch. 'So you were homeschooled?' Daria asked."


• Twin Tracks (chapter 4), by oni (part 2): "Pulling up to Stacy's house, Sandi found the Rowe's mailbox covered in egg yolk with pieces of the egg shell laying on the ground below. She frowned at it for a moment before walking up to their front door."


• Untitled (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So what do you think of the band?' the girl asked her while taking a drag of her cigarette, not giving a crap about the whole 'you can't smoke indoors thing'."


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 9): "'You know Vic, you never told us why you don't like that other sister of yours so much.' Victor sighed, 'True, and it's kind of complicated.'"

I Hope He Plays Better Than He Jousts

Joey's supplying the music for National Tartan Day, so those out there who have any Scottish in you should wear your plaids proudly! Not sure how the Fashion Club might feel about it, but who cares what they think, anyway?

Fandom News!

• Which class are you? MartinUK invites you to answer the questionnaire.


• Discuss the recent passing of Roger Ebert and share your thoughts on the famous movie critic.


• Share your stories about chains of events that led you to unexpected interests.


• Both of the pilots for the Daria Audio Show have been posted!

"Now, watch out for the girl with the red face who's forgotten how to walk. Oh, never mind. That's you."

Happy Walk Around Things Day! Daria will have a hard time on this one without her contacts, but Jane will be there to help. Just be careful not to run into Upchuck--he might enjoy it.

Fanfic Update!

• 22nd Century Cynic: Tutor Hell (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Walter Kovacs (COMPLETE!): "Tutoring in the summer helped pay for some relatively minor expenses, which helped since even after the last 2 years, Lawndale's teachers didn't earn all that much. Besides, this summer was particularly quiet since The DeMartino's children were either at camp, interning at Helen's law firm or in the case of their Son, working at Pizza King. thought Tony"


• Arrival (IC: Daria With the Yeagers), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "The young woman and young man entered the building with the slow steps of two people taking a first look of an unknown place. Their unfamiliarity of the place was obvious to any passer-by as they surveyed the elevated ceiling of the hall, taking only a small interest on the passers-by. 'Well, we're here,' said the young woman. She looked at her companion. 'Wolfie, please stop staring. People are going to notice if your mouth catches flies.'"


• August 27, One Year Later (IC: Daria With the Yeagers), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Ethan Yeager flopped down into the bean bag chair next to Daria and glanced at the TV and groaned at the sight of a news story playing."


• Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (parts 1 and 2): "'Jane, can you, um,' Daria mumbled, her voice barely audible over the radio. 'Can you loan me some money?' 'No.'" (Part 2)


• The Cat's Meow! (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Daria,' Jane asked, 'why are you grinning?' 'I never thought the answer to that question would be this,' she replied, 'but I just talked to Upchuck.'"


• Daria and Stacy (IC: Stacy Morgendorffer), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'My God,' Cindy breathed as she took in the sights, 'This place reeks of paranoia, smarm, liars, and greed.' 'Are you describing this here UFO convention or Mos Eisley?' Stacy asked her friend as they made up the tail end of the group of five at the 5th Annual Lawndale UFO Convention."


• Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 5): "As the freshly done up girls shanghaied him out of the house, barely just toweled off from swimming with a now passed out Brian, Darius offered a single, weak protest. 'Can't this wait until we go to Paris?'"


• DW: The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 14): "After another five minutes, she heard a sound. She turned and saw the Doctor walking down the stairs. 'Hello, Doctor,' she said. The Doctor turned to her. 'How did you enter my TARDIS?' he asked in a dark tone."


• The End of an Era, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Huh,' Daria said, almost sounding defeated. 'Huh?' Jane asked. Daria never sounded defeated, or, well, like anything. 'Outpost Mr. T is closing,' Daria explained."


• The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (parts 1 and 2): "Darth Wroth rose from where she had knelt on the sidewalk. For a moment, her cybernetic eye malfunctioned, then settled down and began to function normally. She held up her left hand and flexed it to make certain it was working properly, then turned to take in her surroundings. 'This is not Corulag,' she muttered." (Part 2)


• Girlz In Da Hood (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "As thousands of Purifiers from the Order of Infinity, and thousands of high-school students and other Lawndale residents watched, the young woman who looked like she was made of pure electricity strutted across the stage set up in the middle of the LHS football field."


• The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (part 6): "'Darius, would you mind switching it over to ESPN?' 'Why?' Darius replied with confusion. 'Because I got drafted on the basketball team and I've got to try and learn about it and junk.' Quinn informed him with a very unmanly huff."


• Helen and the Ape (Iron Chef: Helen and the Ape), by SinisterExaggerator (part 2): "And a full house she had; the Morgendorffers all reclined in their respective niches. Daria was busy actively doing nothing in her bedroom/crypt, Quinn was probably prancing around to teeny-bopper music somewhere that hopefully wasn't rush-hour traffic, and Jake was...good God, he was cooking."


• Irony Maiden 02, by BF110C4 (part 1): "Soon enough they reached Stark Industries private airport much to the disappointment of the U.S. Air Force lieutenant Stacy Rowe. 'I could let you fly the plane if you stop that ridiculous pouting.'"


• Losers No More, by Shiva (part 14): "After a minute of small talk David asked if he had talked to Daria lately and Graham sighed, 'Yeah man, just now but she's gone into a shell.' 'Did you say anything dumb?' David asked without thinking and instantly regretted it. Graham winced, 'No, and that's what has me worried.'"


• LSD, by PrecambrianStudios (part 3): "Helen waved her hand irritably. 'Yes, yes, he got the girls dropped off and he's heading off to work, tell him-' 'Mrs. Morgendorffer, he said something about the school for the Deaf burning down.' 'WHAT?!'"


• Mackbeth, by SinisterExaggerator (parts 1 - 3): "[As a storm brews in the distance, three WITCHES enter. They look suspiciously like MS. BARCH, MRS. BENNETT, and MS. MORRIS.]" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 19): "Then just as he was about to ask if she wanted something to drink, Daria suddenly said, 'You know... I think Mister Bond has given me an idea.' She then leaned over the armrest for her book bag and yanked out a notebook and began to scribble down something very quickly."


• Mommy's Little Whore (Vignettes: Hell-bent Helen), by Bliss Ticks (part 1): "Daria knew all about her mother; the withdrawal, the preference for prison-like surroundings, the mood swings and inability to cope with people, all products of being raised by a sociopath."


• Night Witches, by Panzerfaust150 (parts 1 - 3): "It had been a long strange trip for them both to the Air Force, someplace that if you had asked either of them, they both would have shrugged and simply said, 'shit happens'. For Daria, it had all begun one fall day of her senior year of high school in 1977...." (Part 2) (Part 3) (PPMB part 1) (PPMB part 2) (PPMB part 3)


• Only O'Neill, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Quinn knocked on her sister's bedroom door. 'Daria, are you in there?' 'No, I'm taking it easy in Tahiti for a few days.' Moron."


• Slan-Dur, by malakite (part 1): "And so on in this fashion, with ButtHead filling in details as Beavis processed, and raised pertinent questions,most of which ButtHead had anticipated and worked out the answers to. Really, though, to anyone listening, it would seem like the two boys had some variety of aphasia or glossalia,and were perhaps having a competition to see who could out babble whom."


• Straight from the Hip (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Why is Jane so intent on meeting me here? Daria asked herself. She exited the taxicab and looked at the sign. Williamsburg, Brooklyn."


• Tiffany as a Brain (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (part 1): "Tiffany Blum-Deckler enjoyed the gentle breeze of the morning as she sat on a bench in front of Lawndale High, reading her new book of the month, Trainspotting. She was finding the challenge of understanding the Scots-English invigorating; it was making up for a lack of company at the moment."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The spectral image that advanced upon Daria, Jane, Jodie and Stacy - all dressed in grey overalls and wearing strange backpacks, cords from each backpack leading into the strange, wand-like devices each girl held like a rifle."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'I can't believe that Principal Li is making us do... this.'" (Continued by Roentgen)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "The four members of the Fashion Club gathered together. 'Grab your stick!' Sandi shouted."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Since the economic downturn things had gotten pretty hairy for Our Heroine, Daria Morgendorffer."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Fcqzpr gfmqbzfn azyyrkrfq?' Agkzg dgza gd Xgfr occwra hl, lhttora."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "The past should stay in the past. That's what being friends with Daria taught me."


• Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'She was my best friend in the whole world.'"


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 8): "'Congratulations on breaking Mr. Edwards.' the voice said in a flat dull tone that very much reminded Victor of his sister Daria. Victor stopped in his tracks and the figure emerged into his line of sight, he wore baggy khakis, a red shirt, aviator glasses, and had dark eyes and curly dark brown hair."


• When the Cat's Away, by SinisterExaggerator (part 2): "'Is Jane here?' He stroked at the stubble on his chin and thought for a moment. 'When I fell asleep, she was going out to her car.' Both of them instinctively turned their heads towards the driveway. 'It's not there. She must be with y--oh.'"


• Yunny: DA SEECWEL, by Brain Camper (part 1): "sho daria wnet and het jank un hed u beech i will keel u"

Shhh! Reading in Progress!

Happy International Children's Book Day! Daria's been up all night observing this holiday, but keep your voice down. She just got to the good part. Black Beauty is always an obvious canon choice for young Daria's reading material, but what other kid's books do you suppose she enjoyed? What are/were your favorites? Share in the comments!

Today is also the twelfth anniversary of "Art Burn" in 2001. Jane as a counterfeiter? Tiffany hiring thugs to break someone's fingers? Post-apocalyptic gazebos? What a seamy and sordid place Lawndale is beneath the surface.

Fandom News!

• Outpost Daria will be shutting down in June. Many thanks to Martin Pollard for maintaining the site for so many years!


• In related news, MartinUK has taken over hosting the Daria episode transcripts.


• Roentgen discusses the Positivist Calendar and suggests a few changes.


• PrecambrianStudios kicked off a new activity: (Insert Name Here) is so Awesome That....


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Shiva's Daria With the Yeagers and JPAGC's April's fool.


• Shiva has a small request for artwork.